MySpace was better than FaceBook

For starters the name was a thousand times better. At least before the name was changed to include an elongated, fallen over bracket. “Check out MySpace” sounds so much cooler than “I’m on FaceBook”.

It had more features, and a better layout. Despite the fact that 13 year old girls could (and did) make their homepage look like a emo-goth equivalent of the hot dog theme with a sparkling magenta/fuscia background & animated cartoon blood dripping from the fangs of their least favorite bubblegum popstar (who’s music played ironically in the background) — and unicorns following the mouse — this was a feature, not a flaw in the platform.

The flaw was in you for daring to cross the threshold of the id of a 13 year old girl. But it was likely creepers like you who turned the 13 year old girl (now 15 and wiser) from confines of MySpace to FaceBook where they could trade 40 something stalkers for 20 something ones. Because FaceBook was cool, it started at Harvard.

That’s the only reason I can see that FaceBook won the “Social Network” wars — that teenagers were on MySpace first, so it becaome uncool first.

Well, FaceBook is uncool now, thanks to the purchase of Instagram — behold all the recent signups bewailing the purchase of their favorite 1990s technology digital photo filter simulating 1970s era faded analog photos complaining how they won’t use it anymore — on FaceBook.

My suggestion is, go back to MySpace. Maybe we can get Mitt Romney to lobby Rupert Murdock to change the fallen bracket back to the word “space”.

Features will win out, and all the unicorns and vampires are gone from MySpace — it’s full of 20 something wannabe folk stars. Leave FaceBook to the zombie farmers, and their click farmers.

My guess is that MySpace will outlive FaceBook.

Now that “the Zuck” (and all his VC backers) have cashed in, if Morgan Stanley can keep the price from falling for 6 months, they’ll have no incentive to keep FaceBook going as a going venture. It’s time to move on.

And there won’t be any money left after Facebook hits fair market valuation at less than $2/share — which will be split into quarters before Bono can finish divesting, so your $45/share purchase (due to a NASDAQ computer glitch) will be worth approximately 45 cents, if the company keeps revenue up, despite General Motors & everyone else except the “Games for Droolers” (who are the only other tech IPOs lately) pulling their ads — and Zuck & Co off to spend their money before it evaporates, and the VCs look for something else to pump and dump.

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